I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
