ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm bleeding and have questions
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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