he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You ruined the universe
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
