Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(606): View more from Kentucky

A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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(512): View more from Texas

He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.

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(239): View more from Florida

All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth

Fav 9 980 2006
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(214): View more from Texas

How are ur friends?

(512): View more from Texas

One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went

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