We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
