They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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