Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize