It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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