lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
