i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
