his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
