My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
