Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
