i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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