if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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