he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
