So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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