I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
