she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
