I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
