im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
