8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
