This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
