I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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