woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize