Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
