Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
