Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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