My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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