are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
