Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
