i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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