I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
