I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
