Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
