ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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