Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
