no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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