so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
