you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
