why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
soo... how was my night?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
