What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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