FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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