i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
