No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
