i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
you made out with another girl for some wings
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize