yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
