My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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