I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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