I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
