I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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