Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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