Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize