I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
