It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
