3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I faked an abortion last night.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
