and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize