pedialite and red bull = repair kit
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
