I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize