i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
