we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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