I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Randomize
