I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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